Here’s the picture again:
Sometimes what the old ones missed was slap-in-the-face obvious to the young. I’d made it all the way to the end without being noticed. Only one foot needed ground-contact to complete the transition.
That boy knew. He presented a problem and I knew the solution, but first things first.
The conductor reached for the hand.
“Thank you,” I said, emulating the female ones who’d disembarked ahead of me. It would get easier to remember what to do as time passed, but for now every tiny detail was laborious. The body would begin to obey. Now that I’d found the ground.










Madison! I’m so glad you’re back. I missed last week’s prompt and so I ended up using that photo rather than this one because I was feeling very, um, insubstantial! Also, I’m in Greece, which is giving me a leg up on the timing thing.
In any case, your story is great. I appreciate getting a picture for the narrative voice without needing a physical description. And I’m worried for the boy.
Maybe one small concrit: I don’t know that I totally understand the statement: “one foot needed contact to complete the transition” and where it goes afterwards. At the end, has the being made that contact and completed transition? I would usually say that being cryptic doesn’t bother me, but in this case it seems like it would do your story more justice to have the goals of the being clarified. Does that make sense?
No matter what, I love the feeling the piece elicits in me and especially the line “emulating the females who’d disembarked ahead of me.” Fantastic. It really is good to have you back.
Here’s mine: http://thecolorlime.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/time-pause-play-rewind-101/
I forgot to tell you in my comment that I loved your title: Pause. Play. Rewind.
Just so.
Lindaura
I’ll second that!
Thanks, Lime. I like your crit and if I use it for a longer piece, I’ll definitely keep that in mind. Later when I get time, I’ll probably do some edits here, too.
I’m glad to be back
Heading your way next break!
Great to have you back, Madison! Here’s my flash fiction for today for a tough picture.
http://mymusings-maggie.blogspot.com/2012/01/friday-flash-fiction-and-some-good-news.html
Thanks, Maggie. Heading your way now
[...] 100-word Flash Fiction. #FridayFictioneers (http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/first-contact/) [...]
Welcome back! Here’s my entry for this week: Stop, look, and listen (http://bit.ly/wOlxV4). Enjoy!
I’m very happy to be back! (at least now I am. I grumbled a bit at first, lol)
Heading your way next
[...] ———– To read other Friday Fictioneers’ stories, take a look at Madison Woods’ blog. ———- And some really great news. My short story, “Trophies,” [...]
[...] great leader, Madison (http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/first-contact/), is back from her vacation, and provided today’s inspiration with the picture below. If you [...]
Hi Madison! Welcome back! Sounds like you had a wonderful trip, I hope reality doesn’t hit too fast.
My story is here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/
I enjoyed your take on this – there is some menace in your narrator’s position, and I’m afraid for the little boy! Plenty of questions and therefore potential here. A great comeback!
Thanks Elmo
I’m glad to be back to writing again but I really really enjoyed my break, too.
Lots of menace in my piece today, and you’re right to be afraid for the kid. Heading your way next!
That was fantastic. Your stories are getting better and better. The mystery is shadowed in so that we are in on the secrets. This is a whole novel in a nutshell!
Here I am at http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com
Yours as ever,
Lindaura
I had forgotten that your Blogger site does not accept posts when they’re done on Chrome browser. Grrr!
I’m heading over to your site next Linda. Thanks! I think writing these short flashes every week are helping with the craft. It certainly gives me lots of starting points for future stories, at least.
[...] Friday so that means a 100 word story for Madison’s ‘Friday Fictioneers‘. An interesting photo for this week which had me scratching my head for a [...]
A great story Madison.
So much mystery wrapped up i so few words.
The line “Only one foot needed contact to compete the transition” had me wondering not so much who was getting off the train but rather what was.
Here is my story for this week:
http://mjshorts.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/the-last-time-i-was-here-100-word-story-for-friday-fictioneers/
What a novel approach, I wasn’t expecting it at all.
Thank you so much for this Friday Fun! Here is my entry:
http://writetuit.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/friday-fictioneers-jan-27-2012/
I’m back to reading and heading your way
Thanks for joining us today and I hope to see you again next week!
Nice work! I liked how it differed from your previous stories, but I can’t really pinpoint it. Loving it though!
Here’s mine -> http://wp.me/uGD7
Thanks Caely. I think it differed because of the non-human point of view, maybe? Heading your way now…
Great to have you back, Madison! I really enjoyed that piece. I can’t wait to read the other stories. I think this little kid is going to find a lot of adventure today!
Here’s my take: http://wp.me/pReXn-ev
[...] out Madison Woods blog for more 100 Word [...]
[...] writing prompt taken from: http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/first-contact/ ] Advertisement GA_googleAddAttr("AdOpt", "1"); GA_googleAddAttr("Origin", "other"); [...]
Welcome back! Hope you had fun. Here is mine.
http://hugmore.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/painful-partings-a-friday-fictioneers-post/
Thanks Lou, I had a wonderful time! Heading your way for one last read tonight
Welcome back, Madison! I know it must be hard to get back to the real world and your writerly ways, but hope it helps to know we missed you.
Your story is a great opening to a longer tale. It makes me want to know more about “her” and what will happen when she disembarks that train!
Here’s mine:
http://jansthoughtsovercoffee.blogspot.com/2012/01/flashfriday-fridayfictioneers-that-girl.html
hey Jan – me and blogspot are having a spat again. here’s the comment I would have left there.
“There’s a nice, hard-boiled feel to the narrator’s voice. Great curveball last line. Enjoyed it.”
Thanks, Craig. Sorry for all the problems you’re having with blogspot comments. Wish I knew the answer!
Hi Jan
I’m happy to be back now, but it took me a little while to feel back in the swing of things. *sigh* I’d like to have just stayed in the Rockies, actually. Maybe one day.
Heading over to read yours finally. I’m going to have to read some of them tomorrow because I’m running out of time tonight!
Here I am reading the rest on a Saturday morning, too.
Glad you’re back in the swing of things . . . I know the transition isn’t easy. But you’ve got a nice reminder to carry with you.
And I’ll be reading some tonight too! I have to leave for town in a few minutes and won’t have time to get to them all this morning, lol.
Nice! I love the frustration level and maybe a little anxiety felt by the alien, but it seems to be in control.
Here is mine
http://susielindau.com/2012/01/27/just-another-day-100-word-flash-fiction/
Thanks, Susie!
Welcome back Madison. I’m glad someone else noticed the odd look on the boys face.
My explanation is here:
http://www.wakefieldmahon.com/1/post/2012/01/the-eyes-of-a-child.html
Yes, it was the boy’s face that started the ball rolling for me on this one. Took me a while to come up with something and it didn’t happen until nearly midnight Thursday night, lol.
Heading your way
Welcome back, Madision! I really enjoy this drabble. The boy is hard not to focus on, but you managed just to glance off him and move on. Great job.
I’ve been sick all week, so I took a drabble I’d been saving for such an occasion out of storage. Here it is: http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/grounds/
Uh-oh sorry to hear you’ve been sick. But how resourceful of you to have a stash like that! Thanks for reading my story and getting on board with the Fictioneers even while recuperating. That’s impressive and I’m glad to see you!
Heading your way
Sounds like we need to find that kid a job working border patrol.
I must confess, I really struggled with the prompt this week, but as usual, I found a place in left field to park it.
here’s mine http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
Your site wouldn’t let me leave a comment, so I’ll post it here, Russell.
I like the “paying the fiddler” line. Nicely done!
Mine uses a different photo I just fell in love with:
http://kbnelson.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/friday-flash-drip/
Dear Russell,
Your blog would not let me leave a comment this week so I’m putting it here. Make the switch to WordPress. I did and haven’t regretted it at all.
Very unique offshoot of a prompt that I thought devoid of options. That you were able to hit the ground running and pulled it off so well speaks volumes for your imagination and skill.
Aloha,
Doug
Doug, were you able to export all of your blogspot posts to WordPress, and did you lose any followers?
Haha, you just gave me the idea for the rest of the story, Russell. Thanks
Heading your way now.
I couldn’t leave a comment either, Russell. I think if you’d add the option for “Name/URL” in your comment posting criteria, it might work because that’s what I’d been using on the other blogger blogs and it worked every time last night.
Here’s my comment:
I too liked the ‘paying the fiddler’ line. This was a unique turn of the prompt, too. Enjoyed your story. I love hearing how everyone interprets the same thing we’re all seeing!
I wasn’t able to make a reply on your site either, so I’ll do it here:
It took me the second reading to get it, but your story is sublimely funny, a multi-levelled pun! Now I feel like an idiot, but you are brilliant.
Hey, that was a reply to Russell, but it came out in the wrong place.
Hey, I didn’t find your story mysterious or menacing. I really think I clued in on the first sentence and so the third was explanatory. Loved it and the different framing, just like the photo.
Here’s mine: What’s Up?
http://robinhawke.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/whats-up/#comment-1167
Thanks Robin
What the creature has in mind for the solution to the boy’s knowing she’s there isn’t evil or menacing to her either. It’s just a small matter that needs to be handled in a timely manner. Might be interpreted differently by the humans around, though, lol.
Heading your way
This photo was an interessting challenge. I’m very interested in how the other writers interpreted it. Your story is about a new start and new beginnings are always interesting. Nice sense of mystery and fulfillment.
Here’s mine: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/
Enjoyed your mini-thriller
Welcome home, and great story this week! I had a few thoughts about this week’s photo, but was so mesmerized by THIS one, that I had to write about it for Friday Fictioneers -
http://kbnelson.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/friday-flash-drip/
Thanks,
Karen Nelson
Karen, I’ll be out for the rest of the day but will be back to reading tonight, starting with yours. I’m curious to see the photo and read your story! Thanks for the welcome home
[...] writing prompt taken from: http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/first-contact/ ] Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. This entry was posted [...]
Happy Returns, Madison! Your story is very elegant and shrouded in mystery, very good. I had a hard time with this prompt, but here it is:
http://repuestodelatabla.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/friday-fictioneerss-100-word-story-9-the-rules/
Welcome home,
Carlos
Great story
Thanks! Did you have one for today?
[...] Below please find my 100 (plus a few) word story in response to the FridayFictioneers Photo Prompt posted by madison Woods. It’s not a story so much as a meditation on travel and our choice of methods of same. Please read all the stories by an amazingly creative group of like minded authors. good fun in deca-word doses. Here’s the link that get you links to all the stories. just read the comments about Madison’s story and click on the links to others. http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/first-contact/ [...]
Dear Madison,
You’re back in fine form and if I read your story correctly, that kid had better light out for parts unknown. Nice job and welcome home. We missed you (though Susie and Jan did you proud while you were gone.)
Here’s my link. http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=173&action=edit&message=6&postpost=v2
Aloha,
Doug
hey Doug, your link is broken. (Well, for me anyway)
Me too!
Hi everyone. Try this link instead. Thanks Craig. Aloha, D. http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/
gotcha! thanks!
Thanks Doug
I’m finally back to reading the stories and yours is up next! Oh, and yes, you are correct. The kid will get away by the skin of his teeth and grow up to be a great addition to the border patrol team
Hey Doug,
I can’t access this link…
Has the post been moved?
Parul
[...] flash fiction challenge courtesy of Madison Woods. Follow the link to see the picture prompt and read some other great [...]
Good morning everyone,
here’s mine
http://cleveroldowl.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/friday-fictioneers-all-aboard/
Kinda busy at work, but I should get around to reading at lunch or a bit later.
Welcome back Madison.
Thanks for a challenging prompt. Your story is engaging. Great setup.
Here’s mine:
http://wp.me/p1Tjpv-8I
Welcome back, Madison! I hope you are well rested…here is my weekly contribution to the fun. For the first time, I named it too.
Here’s “Waiting” ~ http://www.susanwenzel.com/
I’m off to read the rest!
~ Susan
Susan, it won’t let me comment on your page. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but here’s what I would have put:
I agree with the other comments – fantastic story and so well-told. I totally felt for the little guy.
Strange…I wonder what’s going on. Well, thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I’ll take a peek at the settings and see what’s up.
Madison,
This first scout of an incoming invasion chilled me, maybe it’s the sterile tone it uses to speak.
Nicely done.
[...] http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/first-contact/ [...]
A picture is worth 1000 words & we have to sum it up in 100 words of fiction! I am always excited about the beginning over the end so the picture perceived an image of kid starting a journey rather than ending one.
Susie your last week’s proxy hooked me into this …I am an amateur at writing & a rookie at this 100 words gig. Here’s my attempt.
http://yatinpatel.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/trip-to-grandpas-100-word-flash-fiction/
Thanks for joining us, and thank you Susie for hooking you up with the Friday Fictioneers
Reading yours as the last one tonight (Monday) and will resume reading the others tomorrow.
[...] couldn’t help but write another story for this week’s ‘Friday Fictioneers‘ picture prompt. I kept being drawn to the young lad in the [...]
A second story for this week’s prompt. Is this allowed?
http://mjshorts.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/my-mum-another-100-word-story-for-friday-fictioneers/
Totally allowed. It’s just going to take me a while to get to reading it since we have so many stories this time
My mother’s been ill recently (just the flu, although it’s still no picnic when you’re at her age) and went shopping with me for the first time in a couple of weeks today. She’s unsteady on her feet at the best of times, and after two weeks of minimal activity this is pretty much how she was today. All things considered, she did quite well, and I was impressed.
That said, she totally chickened out of taking the bus.
Here’s my first. Not literally.
http://jaykayel.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/my-first-time-100-word-flash-fiction/
Sorry to hear of your mother’s illness, but glad she’s recovering some and glad to see you’ve joined us.
Alrighty then, go easy on the newb. It’s an experiment.
Here’s my entry:
http://zombiemechanics.com/2012/01/flash-fiction-fridayfictioneers-1-27-2012/
[...] #FlashFictioneers, based on this prompt: (Five words over, I’m [...]
Oh that makes my skin crawl! Missed you writing!
Here’s mine:
http://eliseschapira.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/here-for-you/
The day job is keeping me tied up today y’all. I’ll be making rounds VERY slowly during breaks and commenting tonight. Great turnout today! I can’t wait to read what you’ve come up with
[...] Written for the 100 word challenge photo prompted challenge that Madison Wood hosts every Friday. Check it out to find what others have written up for this, great place to find [...]
This is so cool! I love where you went with this- I’m asking all sorts of questions- what needs to make contact? How many are coming through? What happens next? Very cool.
thank you! hey, did you write one? I see a pingback in the comment above this one of yours, but no link. I’ll go to your website to see…
Ohh the boy sounds like he’s danger.
Mine is longer than 100 words but here it is: http://storytreasury.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/friday-flash-freedom/
First attempt! Any and all comments welcome
(Reserve the right to delete anything that’s offensive.) Thanks Madison, for posting, and Jen for getting me here
http://plowright.wordpress.com/2012/01/28/fridayfictioneers-flashfriday-no-1/
Very cool! Love the premise that whoever or whatever the narrator is, it’s pretending to be human.
The pic didn’t grab me at first, but after pondering all day, one of my WIPs decided to claim it.
http://www.caramichaels.com/defiantlyliterate/2012/01/27/fridayfictioneers-012712/
[...] Put your best efforts on display for 100 words (more or less) and hop on board Friday with links back to your blog so we can all see what you’ve written. If you don’t have a blog of your own you are welcome to post your 100 words in the comment section of my story’s post (Friday). [...]
No internet
I’m in town at the moment but heading home and I won’t have access again until tomorrow. Sorry! I’ll be reading the rest of the stories when I get to work tomorrow.
What happened? My son accidentally cut the phone line while putting in fence posts earlier this afternoon. It might be a few days before I’m back online at home…
Here’s my very late entry for this week… I had given up on this week’s prompt… there was work and there was an idea-lly bankrupt me… But something clicked in the day today and I came up with my 100 worder!
Here it is:
http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/01/30/grow-up-now/
I am off to read others now…
Parul
Parul, you’re on about the same schedule for posting as I am for reading, LOL. I’m running way behind this week!
Sounds like someone is pretending to be human.
If the boy knows, doubt he is entirely safe.
mine: http://storytreasury.wordpress.com/2012/02/02/friday-flash-moving-on