It didn’t matter that only one gift waited beneath the tree. Warm breath, beguiling innocence curled around, prompting protectiveness, swelling heart in the boy who held the puppy tight against his chest.
New life, new love and a new day.
The possibilities were endless.
He dreamt of future runs when together they would bring home fresh hares from the field. His mother would smile. He wouldn’t know what fortitude it took to hide her horror, preparing meals from something that looked to her like skint cats.
Until the day yet farther future when he smiled because she requested parts instead.
Madison,
Nothing to Gain – Nothing to Lose
I wrote this story as the result of solving my question, “Do all human choices hinge on gain/loss”, and the answer is yes. Regardless of how benign the choice, the impetus behind all human word, thought, and deed, is none other than “what do I gain and what do I lose”. This is true because we are not our own source, and apart from God’s provision, we have, and are, literally nothing.
Hi Todd, going to have a read at your blog first this morning.
Hi Madison,
I liked your story, one of my favourites, and I think prefer the genre choice of realism. It has a nice arc, from puppy love to dead rabbits. I felt the structure, but didn’t quite get the meaning of the last line, about requesting parts.
Here’s mine… all week long I was determined that I’d write something beautiful for a change, and then this came out… best laid plans:
http://repuestodelatabla.wordpress.com/2011/12/15/friday-fictioneer-100-word-story-4/
Hi Carlos, the last line refers to when the mother asked him to cut the rabbits up before bringing them to her. At first she didn’t want to crush his spirit and pride, but when he got older she made the request. His smile indicates that he realized how hard it had been for her all along to cut them up herself.
LOL, too much infused meaning behind a few words!
Here, you have one more word you can add: “Until the day she asked for the hare in pieces, and he smiled.” It’s very personal how words sound, I know, and don’t want to intrude, just a thought. I spent many years writing music reviews that had to be absurdly short, giving me a lot of practice cutting my stuff carefully before they did — brutally.
When I was a kid we ate rabbit quite a bit — my maternal grandparents were French — but they were raised in a hutch in the farmyard. The only thing we hunted was mushrooms.
Carlos, that is a very small change and would definitely give better clues. I think I will change it in my hard copy. If I do it here, no one will know what we’re talking about if they come upon this post later.
No suggestion is taken as an intrusion here. I appreciate all feedback and suggestions and can definitely appreciate your perspective from the music reviews.
Good Story, Madison, and nicely told – yes, from puppy to dead meat, but like Carlos, I was confused by the last line and thought he had graduated into procuring parts for the spaceship my people are always building!
Here is mine:
http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com/
I think I got it right this time
Lindaura
I probably need to use a few more words to explain the last sentence. Unless someone has been there, they wouldn’t understand.
Heading your way next!
Excellent story, Madison. I love the transition of sweetness to reality, almost like showing the boy growing up, all in 100 words.
Mine is about a little boy and his mom, too:
http://jansthoughtsovercoffee.blogspot.com/2011/12/christmas-gifts-fridayflash.html
We must have been thinking on the same wavelengths. Heading your way now
I’ve always wanted a puppy for Christmas!
Here’s my story this week: http://penchantforpenning.wordpress.com/2011/12/16/friday-flash-christmas/
Merry early Christmas!
I’d always wanted a horse for Christmas, lol.
I love the contrast of life and dearth, warm puppy and skint rabbit! Nicely done Madison!
Here’s mine. A Christmas Wish – 250 Word Flash Fiction
http://susielindau.com/2011/12/16/the-christmas-wish-250-word-flash-fiction/
Heading your way, Susie
I have always loved hunting dogs, and used to keep several beagles myself. The story brings back fond memories of how proud my son was of his first rabbit. Connie was never crazy about them, but she gladly cooked that one.
My contribution today is at http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
it exceeds 100 words and is in a more serious vein that my usual posts. However, it did work well with the photo and I believe it is appropriate for the season.
LOL, I think to truly ‘get’ the last line in my story, you’d either have to have been a kid who’s mom thought skinned rabbits looked like cats, or have been the mom on the receiving end. When I was a little girl, I used to take my grandpa’s dogs out to run rabbits and loved it.
I’ve decided to try to become a Friday Fictioneer. This first attempt at fictioneering was a little sillier than I intended it to be, but that happens sometimes. I hope you enjoy it!
http://sarahthestoryteller.wordpress.com/2011/12/16/alone-and-bored-fridayfictioneers/
So happy to see you join us Sarah! I loved your story, lol.
[...] My 100 word story this week is titled Called Upstairs and was inspired by the photo prompt posted by Madison Woods for the #FridayFictioneers. Madison’s story as well as the photo prompt can be found here http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/the-gift-100-words/ [...]
Hi M,
Good story. I like how you manage to blend the season spirits with the basic every day needs. I love being a part of this, here’s my contribution:
http://lpssakura.wordpress.com/2011/12/16/captivity/
Thanks, Caely. I love that you love being a part of our Friday fun
[...] Fictioneers prompt found at Madison Woods. Picture prompt this week was a scrawny, bare little Christmas tree. The piece turned out a bit [...]
Hi Madison,
I just got in from the cold. Was standing in the moonlit snow on the west side of the domes working on my submission. Something came to me out there in the night, looking at the stars. (Link to it is posted here –> http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2011/12/16/130/ )
I enjoyed your story, but like some other readers, got lost in the meaning of the last sentence. Read the explanantions and totally understand now (especially the part about trying to get a lot into a little, one hundred word-wise.)
Saw four shooting stars out there tonight. Might have to put that in a blog post. Thanks for shepherding us again this week. Lovely photo, lovely poster of same.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks for continuing to stick with us, Doug
I haven’t seen a shooting star in a while!
Yes, the last sentence of my story is a nuance that only an insider would get. I didn’t know if there would be any in this group who would, and have been pleasantly surprised to see there is at least one, lol.
Good morning everyone,
Madison I really liked the story, and I think i read a touch of magic into it, even though you say it’s more realistic. maybe it the jumps ahead in time? Lack of coffee on my part?
Anyway – I coined a term for it “etherealistic”
Here’s my sappy entry:
http://cleveroldowl.wordpress.com/2011/12/16/friday-fictioneers-the-gift/
Hey, you might have finally helped me figure out what genre I write, lol. I like that. No intended magic in that piece, but my life in general feels rather ‘etherealistic’
Hi Madison, I really enjoyed your story. What a nice Christmas present for the boy. I too was a bit confused by the last line, but a little tweaking (or an allowance of a few extra words) would rectify that easily.
Here’s mine: http://wp.me/p1PeVl-1T
LOL, it really irritates me to have to give into a few extra words but in this case you might be right if I want the majority to know what I’m meaning.
Heading your way next
I enjoyed imagining the one gift was in the cloth wrapping beneath the tree. Would have been wild if it was a baby. “Parts,” you say?
http://www.fairytalemagazine.com/2011/12/wolf-slayer-by-john-wiswell.html
I thought about the fact that in the picture there was NO gift under the tree, lol, but was in a hurry and didn’t want to take the time to figure a way out of it.
This is my first time trying this; hope I did it right. I wrote in First Person POV, something I’ve never written in before. And an unusual POV, as you will see. A Christmas tree is seen as something different…anyway, here is my link.
http://romancethethrillquill.blogspot.com/2011/12/friday-fictioneers-annies-distain.html
Now running off to see other’s entries.
You even got it right the first time around where to post your link
Heading your way next and hey, it thrills me to no end that you got my story’s last line! Redneck (coonass- of french descent from my neck of the woods in Louisiana- in my case) must be the key, haha.
I like your story…I got all of it, even the ending, but then I live in a redneck family. LOL
Hello! First time here. Nice story. Love the 100 word challenge! For some reason thought it was 150 words so had to rewrite. Lovely little story Madison and thank you for hosting #FridayFictioneers!
Here is my entry:
http://redshirt6.weebly.com/fridayfictioneers.html
@redshirt6 on Twitter
Received a question about my entry that made me think I have not communicated well. But that is one of the biggest challenges to a 100 word limit!
If you are familiar with murder mysteries then you have probably encountered what is called a “locked room” mystery. My entry happens to be a “locked flat” or “locked apartment” mystery. A room is locked with no possible way for anyone to have exited and yet the evidence indicates murder or at least the presence of another person.
In my vignette you learn that there is a detective and and inspector present and that they are looking at an image on a digital camera. It happens to be the same image that was used for the prompt. Perhaps that part I should have made clearer but I thought the coffe mug in the picture prompt would be enough to make readers realize that. There is a corpse, shot in the head, holding the gun. Looks to be a suicide. Time stamp on picture matches time on clock in photo as well as time landlady called the authorities.
But because the coffee mug is no longer on the dining room table ( Sergeant looks at table) obviously someone else was likely in the room when the person died. So. Suicide? Murder? Or perhaps at least a witness to a suicide? If so, there is a mystery because all doors and windows were locked from the inside and according to the landlady there are no other exits.
Robby Hilliard aka redshirt6
Dear Robby,
I keep looking and looking at that photo and I never see a table – let alone a missing coffee mug. I am totally familiar with the looked room mystery template, but couldn’t you have used something else, from the picture, like the missing presents? the missing Christmas lights? the stopped clock?
Sorry, the story reads alright, I just can’t put it together with the prompt.
Yours wonderingly,
Lindaura
The reflection in the glass of the grandfather clock. Table, chair, coffee mug on table. If you click on the image above so it will be larger, it is easier to see.
And I hope it goes without saying that I appreciate any and all feedback.
Robby
Robby,
I loved your story and I loved the use of the reflection! Until your story, I couldn’t tell what it was. I can’t seem to leave a comment on your blog, but I really enjoyed it. Well done and so spooky!
Siobhan
I thought the story stood on its own merits. I noticed the reflection before reading it…and that weird electric cord to the grandfather clock. But I don’t think that helped or hindered my enjoyment. Robin
I never even noticed the reflection. And that’s my coffee-cup on the table!
Thanks! If you enjoyed it then I’m thrilled!
I couldn’t think of what to do with the electrical cord either! As I was looking at the picture I was drawn in by what was in the reflection. Kind of a picture within a picture. And the fact that the content of the reflection was probably not intended is what started me to thinking of a story scenario inwhich the contents of the reflection were not intended.
That is of course unless, uh Madison, you happen to have a corpse holding a gun lying on your floor!
And I looked over the 150 word version and I don’t know that the other 50 words actually add to the story. It does make it a little more readable IMO but really doesn’t convey much more information. I really like the challenge of setting a limit and sticking to it!
Robby
redshirt, you could have left it at 150 words. You’ll notice some of us go over. I try to always stick to 100 because that’s the challenge for me. Many times I don’t get my point across anyway and could have used the extra words but it’s just a personal limit for something that’s not contributing to my wip other than stimulating creativity.
Glad to have you join us! I’m finally able to get a look at your story to see what all the clues have been about. I love a good challenge.
Thanks, Madison. I’m really enjoying all of the flash fiction online. There is a great, short, contest every day of the week and more than one on some days.
Robby
Loved The Gift … I got parts, but then I frequently stuff my hand down gullets.
http://robinhawke.wordpress.com/2011/12/16/a-tree/
LOL, Robin, so glad you got it
Heading your way next!
Animal gullets…realized how that might sound in this company, Robin
LOL! I got that part, too
Madison,
I enjoyed your story.
My first attempt at Friday Fictioneer. A great idea. Thanks for the photo prompt. Here’s my link.
http://writingbothsides.com/2011/12/16/the-dwarf-christmas-tree/
Thanks
Glad to have you join us today!
Posting mine and off to read yours! Happy FLASH FRIDAY! http://www.susanwenzel.com/
Nice story, Madison.
Here is mine at the top of this post. Thanks for the photo. It set my mind in motion.
http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2011/12/100words-for-fridayfictioneers-and.html
There’s no adult content on the blog today.
Siobhan
Great Stories!
Here’s mine: Christmas Magic
http://www.wakefieldmahon.com/
Yep, there you were, in the spam filter. Sorry about that!
Here’s a story from Bud Hanks. He doesn’t have a blog so he sends it to me to post in the comments:
The Promise
“I don’t care what the war department said. I’m not going to give up hope. Johnny promised that he would be home today, Christmas Eve, at noon. It’s only eleven; he’s got an hour.”
“But Rita there is no hope for that.”
“Hope itself is like a star––not to be seen in sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of adversity. A preacher, Charles Spurgeon wrote it.
“One tree, one present, one hour. Hope springs eternal in me. Johnny will be here with me at noon––in spirit or in kind. I believe.”
Loved the message of hope, Bud. It’s hard to remember that sometimes a person’s hopes are hinged on different things than we might imagine.
Dear Madison,
Tell Bud to get an address! I enjoyed his story.
Aloha,
Doug
[...] is the Photo Prompt from Madison Woods: http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/the-gift-100-words/ Come up with a story, 100 words, more or less, based on the above [...]
A pup is present enough! Who needs anything else? Though I sympathize with the mother. Skint cats indeed. LOL
mine: http://wp.me/p1aopU-ts
Well… I’d always hoped for a horse, but it never happened. Finally got my own when I grew way up. Heading your way next
Madison…I *love* the term “skint cats”…very illustrative.
I see Sonia noticed ‘skint’ too – and I hope you ALL know I know the proper term is ‘skinned’ LOL. But skint worked for the story.
[...] #FridayFictioneers – The Gift [...]
Very curious. It started out very sweet and then… eep! I wasn’t entirely sure what kind of parts were being requested at the end there.
http://www.caramichaels.com/defiantlyliterate/?p=1010
Heading your way now, Cara. The parts were the rabbit cut into parts rather than handed over skinned and whole. Thanks for joining us this week and hope to see you again the week after Christmas!
Sorry I’m so late.
Here’s my story:
http://mymusings-maggie.blogspot.com/2011/12/friday-flash-fiction-better-late-than.html
[...] Questions? Comments? For more 100-word flash fiction, go to Madison Woods’ blog. Share this:ShareRedditDiggLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. FictionFlash Fiction [...]